Lovin my girl @Acute_Tweetment's takes on Bethenny's talk show!
Bethenny’s talk show airs episode 12 on June 26, 2012 on FOX Philly.
Today’s show opens up with behind the scenes footage of Bethenny sitting with her producers a couple of hours before the show and brain storming for questions to discuss with Mario Lopez. We all know he is on Extra now but remember him as Slater on Saved By The Bell. Don’t try and act like you never watched it…
Bethenny was once a production assistant on the set of the show!!! Amazing how much has changed since then.
The awesome part of this scene is that a producer “produces” an old picture of Bethenny on the set with Screech next to her. It’s great! It came from a box of pictures she gave them and she had long since forgotten about. The look of surprise on her face was priceless!
Back to the studio for the start of the show! “Calling all my girls”….
Bethenny comes out fixed up and looking cute with a head band, dark blue button down shirt, green skirt, tassel belt, and orange pumps…I know it sounds like Bjork styled her but it all came together and worked for her.
First guest…Mario Lopez! Damn those dimples! They have not aged a bit! He comes out looking dashing and gorgeous wearing grey slacks and a black shirt. Simple and sexy. He’s carrying a gigantic bouquet of flowers wrapped in a purple ribbon for Bethenny. The audience is going WILD!
Mario opens up by saying he remembers the photo of Bethenny on the set of SBTB. He said she was always so sweet and cool with everybody…and that he had a crush on her back in the day! OMG. She had no idea. This information was not in her book, Skinnydipping…
He reveals this now after Bethenny Getting Married and they both have had little girls. Bethenny is married and he is engaged to be married in December. Congrats!
Oh well…It’s cute and flattering to our Queen of TMI.
• Chris Brown’s recent tussle with Drake in a NYC club. The rumor is that it somehow has to do with Rihanna.
What’s the attraction to bad boys? Rihanna just can’t help herself.
Mario feels like Rihanna should not even be entertaining the idea of Chris Brown after he crossed the line by physically assaulting her a few years ago. Temper, temper. Once that line is crossed you should not look back. He’s so right…
Bad boy becomes just plain bad at that point.
Mario thinks a player is someone who is deceitful, cheating and lying to women. A playa is someone who gets loads of girls and is just lucky…Obviously his dimples are playas.
• Halle Berry was ordered to pay her ex a whopping $20,000 per month in child support! SCREECH!
• Rielle Hunter’s memoir…ugh….Saved by the plug for Mario’s new underwear line…
We see several gratuitous photos of him sporting boxer briefs and showing off his rippling, muscular, veiny, and hard body on projection. His new underwear line is called Rated M.
Mario works out a lot…and it shows. We can smell the testosterone through our high definition tv.
Uhm…we would have loved to be in the laboratory when he was developing the prototypes…HA HA
Mario believes that working out should be done when ever and where ever saying, “I work out for sanity and not for vanity”. It’s a stress reliever. He does a push up with Bethenny sitting on his back…then another push up with Bethenny’s cocktail on his rear end. Impressive…but….
My heart still belongs to CoCo…having flash backs of Bethenny pouring her cocktail on Mrs. Ice T’s rear…ehem…
Okay….back to Mario….
Mario wrote a children’s book for his daughter…while bench pressing his fiancé. It’s called Mario and Baby Gia. How sweet!
He sticks around to hang out with the girlfriend panel. Loni Love is back! She comes out with Tracy McMillan. Tracy is the author of Why You’re Not Married.
Loni immediately starts moving in on Mario…she’s putting out strong vibes with the look in her eyes and even crossing her legs. She said she’s serious because she’s not crossed her legs for a man since 1992. HA!!!
Bethenny asks Tracy why are women not getting married? What’s the problem? Tracy says, “The first big challenge starts out with Chapter 1…You’re a Bitch. Gagged on our coffee… laughing!!!
That could have been Cookie’s set back…she’s not worried about it, though.
Bethenny tries to get the audience comfortable with the word “vagina” by saying it together. Mario is the only one in the room who does not get in on this. Oh well..We still can’t say it without laughing any way…
Ina, Gina, Vagina…Vageena…lets call the whole thing off.
Moving on to a video that contains Shit Girls Say…like….”Shut up, what’s my pass word, listen, could you not do that…”
Loni points out that it’s shit white girls say. Black girls say, “Are you livin’ with your momma or is your momma livin’ with you?” HA HA HA
Moving on to the topic of cheesy pick up lines. A dude in the audience shares his favorite. “Are your parents bakers…’cause you’re a cutie pie”.
Loni says, “he ain’t getting NO love”
Mario did not ever really use pick up lines with girls. Loni says what we’re all thinking…”he doesn’t need any”…
His dimples do all the talking for him.
Several girls appear with issues wearing jeans. They don’t fit right or look right. They get help from a fashion and jean expert, Rachel Zalis.
Fast forward….to our favorite part of this episode.
It’s the video footage of Cookie mauling one of Bethenny’s producers during a meeting. We watched it over and over and even in slow motion. Howled with laughter every time.
Cookie is Bethenny’s beloved 11 ½ year old dog. She’s seen it all and been through it all with Bethenny. Ups, downs,business, engagements, breakups, marriage, pregnancy, child rearing. They are a team. Girl power to the 100th power. She’s Bethenny’s bitch. Bethenny is the brain and Cookie is the brawn behind Skinny Girl. If Bethenny were a dog…she would transform into Cookie. We love Cookie. Something about her that we all get. She’s devoted to Bethenny and she sets boundaries with others. We all remember Shawn Rapideau having to get through Cookie first when he came to the apartment to discuss wedding planning with Bethenny. The dog attacked him, snarled at him. He was a dangerous intruder with balls. Only visitors with vagina’s were safe. Well, Cookie now wears Shawn’s balls around her collar as a souvenir from NYC and a message to Bethenny’s male producers in LA.. I guess Andy (Bethenny’s producer) did not get the message.
During a briefing with Bethenny and several producers sitting on a comfy couch…they were discussing women cheating and if they can save their marriage afterward. Andy (Bethenny producer) was curled up on the couch…his legs open. First mistake…HA!
As he shifted and extended his leg, he stepped on Cookie. Second and Third mistake. She attacked his foot like her life depended on it. She made mauling his foot her business. He screamed and begged for mercy saying, “OH JESUS, I didn’t see you” She continues snapping her teeth on his foot. “OH MY GOD, STOP!”. HA HA HA HA HA! The look of horror on the other producers face make us pee our selves. TERROR and SHOCK!
Okay. Only the fear of God and Jesus can get Andy out of Cookie’s jaw. She eventually backs down. She must be very religious. Andy says, “Are you fucking kidding me with this dog…holy shit”…HA HA HA! Everyone in the room is rolling around laughing. I’m still cracking up!
Nope. Cookie is totally serious. Don’t cross her. Keep your legs closed and your feet up. No sudden moves.
She adds Andy’s toes to her dog collar and they clink together with Shawn’s balls. I bet Andy must be intimidated by this during his briefings in the office. Cookie’s not a player…she’s a killer ya’ll.
Cookie is wondering what’s for dessert at this point. She has some indigestion from Andy’s foot but she’s a trooper and won’t skip out on treats.
Andy says that he is the victim in this case and has retained Gloria Allred as his attorney. Cookie’s not scared. She’s no stranger to the courtroom….She’s going to come out of this with a producers badge, lawyer’s license, and a judge’s gravel. Court adjourned.
Bowing down to the Queen of TMI as she signs out!
Acute_Tweetment….sharing my opinions that are Veryfried in Writing…